- me at ten years old: i'm never going to download anything illegally
- me at ten years old: i'm never going to talk to strangers on the internet
- me at ten years old: i'm never going to give out any of my personal info
- me now: oops
A thing happened on campus
So my name is Joey White and I’m a very pasty pale British white guy at uni overseas. So I was introducing myself and this guy from Nigeria goes “Hi, I’m Joseph” so I said, “I’m a Joseph too! Joseph White.” Then he looked me in the eye and said in a dead serious tone “I’m Joseph Brown” and we nearly died.
life hack: take the person you despise the most and turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then put that flea in a box, and then put that box inside of another box, and then mail that box to yourself, and when it arrives sMASH IT WITH A HAMMER
It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!